The Gundam Wing Murder Files
by Princesa Escura
Summary: I took this down to fix it.. so otherwise.. people are being murdered and people are finding out who the killer is..
1. Case No. 1- The Lightning Count Brought ...

I don't own gundam wing!! Big surprise isn't it.. but what I do own is Flame's soul!!! Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha.. so please enjoy!!  
  
The Gundam Wing Murder Files  
  
Case No. 1 The Lightning Count Brought Down  
  
Investigating Detective- Kaige  
  
The Victim:   
Zechs Marquise, murdered in his parlor in the middle of the night. He was shot in the back of the head with a 12 gauge shot gun.  
  
The suspects:  
Lady Une- She blames Zechs for Treize's death, but is revenge enough to push her over the edge? I'd say yes.  
  
Relena Peacecraft- Her brother wasn't living life by the Peacecraft name, but would she risk her morals to keep him from staining the Peacecraft name further? I wouldn't put it past her.  
  
Hilde Schbeiker- She holds no real grudge against Zechs, but isn't it always the innocent one that does it?  
  
Catherine Bloom- She'd do anything to protect Trowa, but would she kill for him? Don't trust people with the penitence for throwing knives.  
  
Sally Po- She hangs out with Chang Wufei a lot, You never know what ideas he's feeding her. Injustice? Yes!!  
  
Dorothy Catalonia- This woman is a freak and I wouldn't put it past her if she killed anyone or anything!!  
  
Lucrezia Noin- The loved ones are usually the ones that do it. Maybe it was her.  
  
The Setting- My office of horrors.. better know as my office.. bwhahahahahahahahahaha... ::Flame pokes her in her shoulder:: Ok.. ok.. I'll get back to work.  
  
  
And the story begins...  
  
I gathered all the suspects in my office. Each had a suspicious look about them that I couldn't put my finger on. Maybe it was because they were all carrying weapons, or maybe I was just paranoid. Yeah, I must be paranoid.  
  
Relena Peacecraft was the first to speak up. "What have you called us here for?" I knew right away that Relena wasn't the murderer, she was clutching a picture of Heero to her possessively and I knew that her world revolved around him. "Well Ms. Peacecraft the first thing that I have to do is..."   
  
I trailed off as I pulled the gun from my desk drawer. "To get rid of you." Relena fell to the floor, dead, shot right between the eyes. I couldn't help letting out an evil laugh. The others exchanged curious looks as Flame came running in to smack some sense into me.  
  
"Ok, now down to business, which one of you killed Zechs Marquise?" An eerie music played as a collective gasp filled the room. I looked around suspiciously. "Who did that?" Flame held up a tape player and walked out of the room sheepishly.  
  
Dorothy was the first to break the silence. "As much as I'd like to take credit, I had nothing to do with his death." Dorothy's eyes took on a suspicious brightness and she went into a speech about the greatness of war.  
  
I rubbed my forehead in exasperation. "I wish people wouldn't come to this questioning drunk." I picked my gun up again and shot Dorothy. Her body fell to rest beside Relena's. "Anyone else drunk?" I waved the gun from one suspect to the next.  
  
Flame came running back into the room. "Will you stop killing so many people, the boss is getting pissed off." She tore the gun from my hand and left the room. The suspects again exchanged a confused look.  
  
"Now, I want each of you to tell me your whereabouts of the night of Zech's murder." Each of the suspects made themselves comfortable as the questioning began. "Who would like to begin?"  
  
No one volunteered. "Fine, Let's start with you, Ms. Noin." Noin jumped as I said her name, but she put up no resistance at my choice. "Sure." She stood and walked to the center of the room.  
  
"Zechs has never really ever slept with me." Another collective gasp filled the room, followed by the eerie music. "Flame!" I heard a muffled sorry come from the outer offices.  
  
"Anyways, I've been sleeping around and I was with my lover that night." Noin looked pleased with herself and sat back down. "Who is your lover and can he back up your story?" Noin blushed. "It's Quatre Raberba Winner, and yes he can."  
  
I took her for her word, no one claimed to sleep with a rich guy in front of a detective if it wasn't true. I buzzed Flame and she pulled Noin out of the room, roughly.  
  
I turned back to the remaining four. Hilde was fidgeting in her sit suspeciously. "Hilde, why don't you go next?" Hilde shifted slightly in her chair, but didn't stand. "I was having a magical tea party with the mice in my kitchen."  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" Her eyes took on a psychotic glint. "The mice, they talk to me and drink tea with me, since Duo won't come around anymore." I searched my desk frantically for another gun, but couldn't find one. "Flame, call the psycho ward, we've got a crazy person in here."   
  
Security came rushing into my office and pulled Hilde forcefully out of the room. "No, I'm not finished telling everyone about the tea party yet!" I shuddered uncontrollably and turned back to the others.  
  
"Whose next?" Catherine came flying at me. Her nails digging into my arm. "You're trying to take Trowa away from me aren't you?" I managed to free myself from her grasp and smacked her. "I think the looney bin should take you too."   
  
Flame came running in at the commotion but didn't bother calling security back. She pulled Catherine away from me and shot her in the head. She fell on the growing pile of bodies on my office floor.  
  
"Oh, so it's ok for you to kill people and not me, I see how it is." Flame shrugged and left my office. Lady Une and Sally Po were the only one left from the original seven in my office.   
  
"Out of the two of you left, I say the murderer is Sally Po." I turned to Sally expectantly. "Am I right?" Sally burst into tears. "It was all Wufei's idea!" I shook my head in pity.  
  
"That's why you shouldn't go out with men like him." I heard a muffled 'Injustice!' from my closet. I pulled the door open and Wufei came falling out. "INJUSTICE!!"   
  
Flame came running into the office upon hearing Wufei's voice and she dragged him off to her house. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you in Sally."  
  
Sally sobbed about Wufei all the way to the police office. I flung her at the nearest cop. "Get her away from me before I kill her!"  
  
Ah.. A case solved.. another one will be coming along soon so just wait until I write it!!!  



	2. Case No. 2- Resounding Joy, Relena Is De...

I still don't own Gundam Wing.. but I'm trying believe me! I'm telling this one in second person.. at least I think that's what it's called... And Some dead people have been mysteriously brought back to life... ignore that and please enjoy the story  
  
The Gundam Wing Murder Files  
  
Case No. 2 Resounding Joy, Relena Is Dead  
  
Investigating Detective- Flame  
  
The Victim:  
Relena Peacecraft, upon reviving she was bludgeoned to death with a blunt object.  
  
The suspects:  
Heero Yuy- Relena has stalked Heero for a long time and has stolen his wallet. Has Heero finally done what he has threatened to do for so long, did he kill her?  
  
Duo Maxwell- Did this happy-go-lucky guy loose it and kill Relena in a fit of rage? That could be the only reason why.  
  
Trowa Barton- Isn't it always the silent reclusive ones that kill? Maybe in this case it was.  
  
Quatre Raberba Winner- Did Kaige finally let him out of her attic? Did he go crazy up there and decide to kill the first person he saw?   
  
Chang Wufei- Did he kill Relena because she annoyed the hell out of him just a little too much?  
  
The Setting- Flame's office or better know as the Torture Chamber.. mwhahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahaaa.. ::Kaige jumps at the chance for revenge and grabs a poker:: Back to work...  
  
Let the questioning begin...  
  
Flame tapped her fingernails impatiently against her desk. Where were her suspects? They had been scheduled to arrive at 1. As the clock's hands slowly turned to 1:01 she began to see red. No one would stand her up.   
  
She grabbed her baseball bat from her many torture devices that littered the office. She would hunt down every last one of them. Flame opened her closet door and pulled Wufei from it. "You wait here while I get the others." Wufei nodded quickly in fear and refused to look into her eyes.  
  
She began her search in Kaige's office. Fairly sure that she would find Quatre Raberba Winner in it's depths somewhere. A muffled groan was heard from the bathroom. This is where she found him tied to the toilet.   
  
Kaige came running in. "No! You can't have him!" Quatre looked up at Flame with pleading eyes. Flame shrugged and went off to hunt the others. She could hear his screams from blocks away.  
  
Flame found Duo at his apartment, hiding under his bed. "If I stay here she won't get me." Was what he was chanting over and over when she found him. She caught hold off his braid and pulled him out.  
  
Duo screamed and kicked wild at her. She brought the bat down over his head and dragged him back to her office. Wufei looked at Duo in horror and hid in a corner. "Be good and I won't hurt you." She tied Duo to the nearest chair and left to hunt for the rest of the Gundam pilots.  
  
She found Heero in a nearby bar. Heero was drunk and getting drunker by the minute. He took one look at her and tried to run away, but in his drunken state all he managed was to fall over onto the floor.  
  
Flame pulled Heero up by his hair. "Did you kill Relena Peacecraft?" Heero looked at her with pained eyes. "If I did, don't you think you'd know it already?" Heero managed to stand on his own and ordered another whiskey. "I'm getting drunk because I didn't get the chance to kill her myself."  
  
Flame left Heero in the bar. It was clear that he hadn't been the murderer. Anyone as drunk as Heero is defiantly telling the truth. Her last suspect would be easy to find. Trowa never left the circus anymore.  
  
She found him with the lions. He stuck his hand in to pet the lion. "Hello Trowa." He jerked his hand in surprise, which made the lion bite him in protest. Trowa screamed in agony and Flame bashed him in the head with her bat.  
  
She dumped him in a potato sack and dragged him back to her office. "Now that I have you all here finally." She glared at them evilly and went back to work. "Which one of you killed Relena Peacecraft?"  
  
Wufei finally looked her in the eyes. "What if it wasn't one of us? Not all of us are here." Flame's eyes glowed red and she threw the bat at him. "Don't ever question me!" Lady Une came walking into her office with a report. Flame drew a gun from her desk and shot her.  
  
Kaige came running in at the gunshot. "Now why did you go and do that, good help is hard to find." Flame nodded "Now you know why I killed her." Kaige shook her head and left the office.  
  
Flame turned back to Duo and Trowa. "It's obviously that one of you is the murderer." Trowa smiled. "It couldn't have been me, I was at Catherine's funeral." Trowa's eyes took on an eerie light but she choose to ignore it.  
  
She turned back to Duo and shook her head. Duo was curled up into a little ball and was chanting something about aliens probing him. Her eyes flew back to Trowa's eyes. They looked oddly like those of a somebody from Ohio. Her eyes widened.  
  
"You killed her." Trowa's eyes took on an angry glint. "Yes I did, what are you going to do about it." Flame extended her hand. "First, I'd like to say good job." Trowa's eyes widened in shock. "Second, sorry, but I still have to arrest you." She hit a button on her desk and an angry lion jumped on his back.  
  
Police and Animal Control came by to arrest Trowa and collect the lion. They had a hard time prying the lion off Trowa but after ten hours they finally separated them.  
  
And another case is solved... but poor Quatre is still tied up.. mwhahahahahahaha!!! I'll get out another case as soon as I think of one!!!  
  
  
  



	3. Case No. 3- Dorothy Came Back The Very N...

Okay.. I'm a fed-up person.. so if I did own Gundam Wing.. everybody would know and I'd be really rich.. so I guess you all know now that I'm just writing a story.. good...  
  
The Gundam Wing Murder Files  
  
Case No. 3 Dorothy Came Back The Very Next Day, And Got Killed Again.  
  
Investigating Detective- Pikachu (For now)  
  
The Victim:  
Dorothy Catalonia, after being fatally shot in the head, she got back up again. Only to be stabbed about ten million times in the back. To say the least, she became swiss cheese.  
  
The Suspects:  
Heero Yuy- Had he found out about Dorothy's obsession with him? Did her sick fixation with Heero drive him to kill her?  
  
Quatre Raberba Winner- Dorothy had tried to slice and dice him, not to mention running that sword through him, but did Quatre want revenge for that?  
  
Chang Wufei- He has tons of problems and he hates women, who would want to kill Dorothy more than him? If not him, then who else?  
  
Relena Peacecraft- Has she finally gone over the edge? Did all of Dorothy's talk of war make Relena pissed off enough to kill her?  
  
Flame- She doesn't like the way Dorothy dresses, odd? Yes, but I've seen her kill for less than that. ::looks over at her:: Please don't kill me!!  
  
Kaige- I've killed her once, who says I didn't do it again??  
  
The Setting- Since Heero won't come out of his bar, that's where the questioning will take place.  
  
On with the melee!!  
  
All the suspects had already gathered at the bar. It was clear why they had gathered so early. To get drunk of course. What? Did you think they were there for any other reason?  
  
Pikachu came hopping into the bar as if he were important. Flame's eyes drifted over to the yellow rat. In her drunken state, she didn't know what the hell it was. "Somebody get me.. hiccup.. my bat." A metal bat magically appeared out of thin air.  
  
Pikachu shot a lightning bolt at her. She had handed the bat to a nearby drunk just in time to save herself. The man screamed in agony as he was burnt to a crisp. The bar filled with drunken laughter. One man stood to make an ass of himself. "Is that dinner I smell?" He fell over on his ass.  
  
Pikachu jumped up onto a stool and appeared to be ordering a drink. "Pika!" The bartender gave him a confused look. "Sorry but we don't serve 'Pika' here." Pikachu looked thoroughly confused and he jumped behind the bar.   
  
Pikachu began drinking everything in sight. He became so drunk that he passed out on top of the counter. The drunken people of the bar hung him up like a piñata and began to beat him.  
  
No candy came out of him, so the drunken people became enraged and roasted him on an open fire. After everyone had there fill of rat and booze, they all went home.  
  
The next day...  
  
I came into the office with a huge hangover and a funny burnt aftertaste in my mouth. Next time, I wasn't going drinking with Heero. The boss stood waiting at my office door. "Do you have any idea what you did last night?"  
  
By his angry look it must have been bad. "What, did I smash your car in or something?" Steam seemed to be billowing from his ears. "You killed the investigating detective of that Dorothy murder and ate him!"   
  
"We ate a man?" I nearly hurled on him, but I didn't have anything left to hurl. "No, you killed Pikachu!" Obviously I did have something left because I barfed all over him. He glared at me and shoved a case file at me. "It's all yours now, even if you are a suspect."  
  
He stomped off like a raging bull and left the building. I took the file and looked over it briefly. I was indeed a suspect, too bad I hadn't did it this time. The rest of the suspects were probably still at the bar, they had still been there when I had left.  
  
I found all my suspects passed out in a big drunken pile. I found a stick, obviously used to cook Pikachu, and began poking them. Flame groaned and rolled off the top of the file. "Stop it, I don't wanna get up now." I continued poking her until she got up.   
  
"Did you kill Dorothy?" A confused look passed her face. "I thought you killed Dorothy." I shook my head. "She came back to life and was killed again." Flame pulled herself onto a stool and shook her head, which seemed to bring her pain.  
  
"No, I didn't kill her." I left her to a jar of aspirin and a carafe of coffee. The person on top of the pile now was Relena. I rolled her off and shot her in the back of the head. Flame jumped at the shot and glared at me. "You mind?" I nodded and went back to my investigation.  
  
Heero moaned from the bottom of the pile, so I pulled him out. "You ok?" He let out another groan and went to the bar to order more booze. "I'll take that as a yes." I sat down beside him. "Did you kill Dorothy?"  
  
Heero didn't seem to recognize me at first, not to mention Dorothy. Recognition finally replaced his confused look. "Are you Satan?" I sighed in exasperation. "Yes, I am, now did you kill Dorothy?" Heero seemed to be in awe for a second. "No, I wish I had though."  
  
My remaining two suspects seem to be waking up. Wufei let out a scream at finding Quatre on top of him. "INJUSTICE!! Get off me you baka!!!" He pushed Quatre off of himself and tried to sit up, wincing in the pain of a hangover.   
  
"What did I eat last night?" Wufei was picking pieces of burnt meat from his teeth. I nearly hurled again. "You ate roasted Pikachu." Wufei turned a brilliant shade of green and barfed on Relena's dead body. I heard a garbled 'INJUSTICE!", as he spewed all over her dead body.  
  
I turned my back on that scene and went to question Quatre. "Did you kill Dorothy?" Quatre shook his head slowly. "I've been with you all this week, or have you forgotten." I patted his hand. "No, of course not." Of course I had, but I wasn't about to tell him that.  
  
I turned to a still green Wufei. "That means you killed Dorothy." Wufei nodded. "Yes, I killed that damn onna." Cops came to drag Wufei away. Flame chased after them with a broom. "NO!! You can't have him!!" She beat them over their heads with it and ran off with Wufei.  
  
The cops turned to me. "Let them go, no one cared about Dorothy anyway." The cops shrugged and went off to get their daily coffee and donuts.  
  
The case is solved and Pikachu is dead!! Mwhahahahahahahahaaa!!! Bwhahahahahahaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   



End file.
